i did it!

today, at approximately 10:15, surrounded by juliet, kelly, adrian, angel, corrinne, michael, lucas, and definitely a few others, i finally did a pull up!

everyone was incredible. pushing me. encouraging me. teaching me. coaching me. and then cheering loudly when i finally got it. it was awesome.

so aside from the actual awesome experience, i can also feel so proud that everything that's happened in the last year and a half, i can finally feel like i have control of my body.

so.awesome.

chart on what fish to eat and what fish to avoid

	Maximum servings that can be safely eaten each month
Fish Name	WOMEN	MEN	OLDER KIDS	YOUNG KIDS	Health Risk
Alewife	0	0	0	0	PCBs
Bass, striped (wild)	0	0	0	0	mercury, PCBs
Bluefish	0	0	0	0	mercury, PCBs
Croaker, white	0	0	0	0	PCBs
Eel, American	0	0	0	0	mercury, PCBs
Eel, European	0	0	0	0	PCBs
Shad	0	0	0	0	PCBs
Sturgeon, wild (imported)	0	0	0	0	mercury, PCBs
Tuna, bluefin	0	0	0	0	mercury, PCBs
Weakfish	0	0	0	0	mercury, PCBs
Mackerel, king	0	½	0	0	mercury
Marlin	0	1	0	0	mercury
Shark	0	1	0	0	mercury
Swordfish	0	1	0	0	mercury
Croaker, Atlantic	1	1	½	½	PCBs
Flounder, summer	1	1	½	½	PCBs
Flounder, winter	1	1	1	½	PCBs
Opah	1	1	1	½	mercury
Salmon, farmed/Atlantic	1	1	1	½	PCBs
Orange roughy	2	1	1	½	mercury
Chilean sea bass	2	2	1	1	mercury
Crab, blue	2	2	1	1	mercury, PCBs
Lingcod	2	2	1	1	mercury
Mackerel, Spanish	2	2	1	1	mercury
Seatrout, spotted	2	2	1	1	mercury, PCBs
Wahoo	2	2	1	1	mercury
Grouper	3	2	2	1	mercury
Snapper, mutton	3	2	2	1	mercury
Sturgeon, Atlantic	3	2	2	1	mercury
Tuna, bigeye/yellowfin (imported longline)	3	2	2	1	mercury
Eel, American conger	3	3	2	1	mercury
Eel, European conger	3	3	2	1	mercury
Oysters (wild)	3	3	2	1	PCBs
Tuna, canned white/albacore	3	3	2	1	mercury
Salmon (wild CA, OR, WA)	4+	3	2	1	PCBs
Tilefish	4+	4	3	2	mercury
Halibut	4+	4+	3	2	mercury
Mahimahi	4+	4+	3	2	mercury
Rockfish	4+	4+	3	2	mercury
Sablefish	4+	4+	3	2	mercury
Sea bass, black	4+	4+	3	2	mercury
Snapper (imported)	4+	4+	3	2	mercury
Snapper, red	4+	4+	3	2	mercury
Snapper, silk	4+	4+	3	2	mercury
Snapper, vermilion	4+	4+	3	2	mercury
Snapper, yellowtail	4+	4+	3	2	mercury
Sole, English	4+	4+	3	2	PCBs
Monkfish	4+	4+	4+	3	mercury
Pollock, Alaskan/Pacific	4+	4+	4+	3	PCBs
Pompano, Florida	4+	4+	4+	3	mercury
Skate	4+	4+	4+	3	mercury
Tuna, albacore (U.S., Canada)	4+	4+	4+	3	mercury
Tuna, canned light	4+	4+	4+	3	mercury
It's safe to eat 4 or more meals per month of the following: Anchovies, Clams, Crab, king (U.S.), Crab, snow/tanner, Crawfish (U.S.), Haddock (trawl), Herring, Atlantic , Lobster, American/Maine, Mackerel, Atlantic, Mussel, blue , Oysters (farmed), Salmon, wild (Alaska), Sardines, Scallops, bay (farmed), Shrimp, pink (Oregon), Squid, Tilapia (Latin America), Tilapia (U.S.), Trout, rainbow (farmed)

http://www.edf.org/page.cfm?tagID=17694

in preparation for friday

this friday, november 28th, marks one year from my very last chemo - one year since i've been able to say i'm cancer-free.

it feels like a really big day to me. and i've been trying to think about all the things i want to do before that day and all the things i want to re-focus on after that day. new goals.

i've made the goal for myself of doing that one damn pull-up by friday.
as of this morning...i'm still not there. saturday i was 99% there. but it's so hard to get up that last piece.

the re-focusing i'm thinking of...like a renewal of new years resolutions that i've forgotten about. taking my vitamins every day. going to yoga twice a week. eating more vegetables. i'm trying to think of more.

!!!!!!!

i got the grant!!!

i spoke with the executive director of the samfund this morning. and she was happy to tell me that i was chosen as one of the grantees for this year! she said there were so many applications that they had to turn down 75% of the applicants. but that my story was so compelling they wanted to reward me with a grant!!

so, they will pay for a year's worth of yoga, as much physical therapy as i need post-mastectomy, and a year's worth of car insurance!
so.awesome.

check out the samfund's website and pass the word on about how GREAT they are.
http://www.thesamfund.org/pages/about.html

grrr

a nurse from the plastic surgery dept just called to reschedule my appointment for th 19th. grrrrrr. cause the dr. has an emergency that day. ? grrrr. doesn't he realize it's also an emergency for me, too? :)

so now i have to wait until dec 5th. boo.

a little closer to goal #1

after a little advocacy, i was finally able to get an appointment for my 3rd reconstructive surgery consultation.

wednesday november 19th at 9:30am.

according to my oncologist and the head oncologist in south san francisco, dr. simon is great. after doc #1 in denver with the "your boobs are too small for modern science to replicate" and doc #2 in sf with the bad looking pictures and the poor bedside manner...i'm thinking dr. simon has a real chance to win me over.

historic

barack obama will be our president. incredible. the surge of optimism that is sweeping the country is such an incredible feeling.

today also marks, for me, another huge accomplishment - slightly less of an accomplishment than our country electing our first african american president, but still...

today was the very first day - after 8 months of trying - i was able to do a "double-under."

here's the story...at crossfit we do hundreds of different things to train our bodies and minds. one of these things is the double-under. a double-under is jumping rope but instead of passing the rope just once, you pass it twice under you as you jump. they are so hard to get. i have been trying for 8 months without one success. it's all about coordination. and today i learned that it's also all about belief and intention and practice.

the goal for the day was to do 125 double-unders. i know it's hard to understand how hard that could be. but swear it felt like it was impossible this morning. i think adrian could see the lack of hope in my eyes and said that attempts at a double-under also counted towards the 125...otherwise i would still be there tomorrow afternoon trying to finish. so the big deal is that i just kept trying. and then adrian gave me a tip...intend to pass the rope three times...because when i was trying to do a regular double-under, he could see in my body that i just knew it was impossible for me...and i would fail. if my intention was three, maybe it would help me actually get to two passes.

and it did!

i successfully completed 10 double-unders today. 10!?! until today, i had attempted for 8 months and came up with a whopping zero!

so today i learned that so much is in my mind and that so much is possible....both in the world of jump-roping and in the world-at-large. things are looking good. which is good because my next three goals are big: new boob, new car, and ONE pull-up.