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arrived at the hospital at 1. left around 830. home now. in bed. eating a bit. drinking a lot. feeling okay. thanks to percocet. tight. and sore. but okay. i can now really start to put all this BEHIND me.
"your monday boobs will be way better than friday boobs."
...and actually, even i were brave enough and even if i were not-superstitious enough...i still don't even KNOW what time my surgery is scheduled for!
i have to call kaiser surgery department first thing in the morning to find out when they want me there. i feel like whatever they say i will not believe them. i should do the exact opposite of what they tell me. they tell me to get there as soon as i can. oh yeah? i'll mosey on in at 5. god, so frustrating. i have no confidence in them.
now...my *surgeon* i still love and adore and trust. it's just all the other people there.
...
shoot.
...
shouldn't i be thinking positively?
grrrrrr.
you might think that i'm in surgery right now. but we're back to t minus 3 days. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
my surgery got canceled.
we got all ready. got to kaiser. put on the gown. got an iv. answered a billion questions, including: when was the last time you ate solid foods? i answered: this morning at 730. they FREAKED out. WHAT? WHEN? SERIOUSLY? 730AM?
a nurse called me last night to give me my surgery time. she said to be at kaiser at 2. she said i could eat until 730am, drink clear liquids until 11am. so i did. and then she totally was wrong. and because she told me that, they weren't able to do the surgery. grrrrrrrrrrr. they said that when you get anesthesia, all your muscles relax. it's possible food can come and you can choke and die.
so. i mean. i guess i don't want that to happen. but i'm still mad at that dumb nurse.
so, dr simonds said, we rescheduled for july 24th. i literally jumped out of the bed. SO MAD. MY MOM FLEW OUT HERE FOR THIS! I TOOK TWO WEEKS OFF! #@!!*!@!#!! THE 24TH?!?!?!?!
so dr simonds went to figure out the situation. and he came back and said, what about monday? monday afternoon.
i can do monday. i can handle monday.
but i'm still mad.
i haven't been able to eat since 7:30 this morning...and i'm huuuuuuungry.
t minus 15 1/2 hours. i finally found out that i have to show up for my surgery at 2pm tomorrow. which, at first, i almost had a heart attack that it was so late. i was thinking about how i might die of starvation because i wasn't allowed to eat or drink past midnight tonight. then the nurse told me i could eat a light breakfast until 7:30am and i could drink clear liquids until 11am. so...nutrition-wise, i think i'll be fine. i just wonder if the more awake time i have before surgery, the more awake time i have to start stressing.
we'll see.
right now i just feel exhausted. i've been running around like a lunatic for the last week trying to make sure i got everything done before my surgery. side-mirror fixed, car checked out. car and dog washed. all heavy things lifted - like a 40lb bag of dog food. grocery shopped. bought 6 bottles of kombucha to aid in digestion and healing. laundry. vacuumed. air mattress bought. disability insurance figured out. work finished. teenagers know i'll be out for two weeks. bosses know i'll be out for two weeks. etc etc etc. i even remembered to put an "out of office" message on my email and on my voicemail. *that* is impressive.
so anyway, because i've been running around like a lunatic doing all that. i actually haven't been thinking about the surgery. and now i'm so tired from all the running, that i'm still not really thinking about the surgery.
my mom flew in this afternoon. kitty had a heart attack of love and excitement when she walked in the door. we went to dinner tonight - probably my last meal out for a WHILE. and we're all prepared to hang out tomorrow until 1ish and then spend the afternoon at the kaiser hospital in sf.
at least i love my surgeon.
...my diagnosis was two years ago tomorrow. weird. a lot to think about.
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