please watch this...

this is a testimonial by a participant on a first descents kayaking trip. please watch it. it's 9 minutes. and is so powerful. he really puts into words how important my own first descents trip was for me.

http://www.firstdescents.org/cms/Programs/Testimonials/tabid/71/Default.aspx

third (and final?) reconstruction consultation

so, friday morning i met with dr. r.j. simonds in south san francisco. he was recommended to me by my own oncologist and the head oncologist of kaiser ssf. in anticipation of my appointment (remembering the two other not so great recon appointments), i was hoping to be able to say something like..."3 times a charm." but instead i would like to say, "i love dr. roderick j. simonds."


in contrast to the other recon surgeons i met, dr. simonds seemed easy-going, relaxed, concerned about me, interested in making me feel comfortable, and caring. i have thought a lot about the importance of this because, really, someone could be a great surgeon without having the best bed-side manner. but it felt so important to me yesterday because i got the sense that he would really try his hardest to get me the best possible outcome...and he would do that because he was a good surgeon AND because he was thinking about me as an individual, not just a patient.

so, we talked about my options. he's 50/50 on saline vs. silicone implants. he said the first surgery could be about a 2 week recovery time. the second recovery probably shorter - 7-10 days. i asked him about driving stick, he recommended not driving stick post-surgery...unless i was driving a lamborghini.

he was very honest about the possibilities. in his practice in south san francisco, he deals with a lot of people coming in to deal with their problematic implants. he sees a lot of horror stories. and so to be sure he presents all the possibilities to his new patients, he paints a "bleak picture" of reconstruction. he said that breast recon is hard for a few reasons...it's hard to match the other breast perfectly. in order to do the recon, he has to take into consideration the size and shape of the person's pectoral muscles, the shape of the rib cage, etc. the goal is to get me to feel comfortable in a bra - not, as he put it, in my "birthday suit."

so...i just felt really good about talking with him. he seemed honest. legit. smart. and caring. so. if i decide to go with him...i could start this process february 11, 2009. wow. still a lot to think about...but nice to think that i could get this final process started.

i still want to talk to my friend vaidya's cousin who is a breast recon specialist in the east bay. it'd be good to talk to someone who's xtremely smart and could tell m everything i need to know. but...we'll see...roderick simonds may be the man.

not strictly breast cancer related...

but there's an article in the nytimes about the environmental effects of all the meat we eat.

"Producing a pound of beef creates 11 times as much greenhouse gas emission as a pound of chicken and 100 times more than a pound of carrots, according to Lantmannen, the Swedish group."

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/04/science/earth/04meat.html?_r=1&hp

check out the video!

kelly posted a video of me doing my pullup. :)

http://www.sanfranciscocrossfit.blogspot.com/

i did it!

today, at approximately 10:15, surrounded by juliet, kelly, adrian, angel, corrinne, michael, lucas, and definitely a few others, i finally did a pull up!

everyone was incredible. pushing me. encouraging me. teaching me. coaching me. and then cheering loudly when i finally got it. it was awesome.

so aside from the actual awesome experience, i can also feel so proud that everything that's happened in the last year and a half, i can finally feel like i have control of my body.

so.awesome.

chart on what fish to eat and what fish to avoid

	Maximum servings that can be safely eaten each month
Fish Name	WOMEN	MEN	OLDER KIDS	YOUNG KIDS	Health Risk
Alewife	0	0	0	0	PCBs
Bass, striped (wild)	0	0	0	0	mercury, PCBs
Bluefish	0	0	0	0	mercury, PCBs
Croaker, white	0	0	0	0	PCBs
Eel, American	0	0	0	0	mercury, PCBs
Eel, European	0	0	0	0	PCBs
Shad	0	0	0	0	PCBs
Sturgeon, wild (imported)	0	0	0	0	mercury, PCBs
Tuna, bluefin	0	0	0	0	mercury, PCBs
Weakfish	0	0	0	0	mercury, PCBs
Mackerel, king	0	½	0	0	mercury
Marlin	0	1	0	0	mercury
Shark	0	1	0	0	mercury
Swordfish	0	1	0	0	mercury
Croaker, Atlantic	1	1	½	½	PCBs
Flounder, summer	1	1	½	½	PCBs
Flounder, winter	1	1	1	½	PCBs
Opah	1	1	1	½	mercury
Salmon, farmed/Atlantic	1	1	1	½	PCBs
Orange roughy	2	1	1	½	mercury
Chilean sea bass	2	2	1	1	mercury
Crab, blue	2	2	1	1	mercury, PCBs
Lingcod	2	2	1	1	mercury
Mackerel, Spanish	2	2	1	1	mercury
Seatrout, spotted	2	2	1	1	mercury, PCBs
Wahoo	2	2	1	1	mercury
Grouper	3	2	2	1	mercury
Snapper, mutton	3	2	2	1	mercury
Sturgeon, Atlantic	3	2	2	1	mercury
Tuna, bigeye/yellowfin (imported longline)	3	2	2	1	mercury
Eel, American conger	3	3	2	1	mercury
Eel, European conger	3	3	2	1	mercury
Oysters (wild)	3	3	2	1	PCBs
Tuna, canned white/albacore	3	3	2	1	mercury
Salmon (wild CA, OR, WA)	4+	3	2	1	PCBs
Tilefish	4+	4	3	2	mercury
Halibut	4+	4+	3	2	mercury
Mahimahi	4+	4+	3	2	mercury
Rockfish	4+	4+	3	2	mercury
Sablefish	4+	4+	3	2	mercury
Sea bass, black	4+	4+	3	2	mercury
Snapper (imported)	4+	4+	3	2	mercury
Snapper, red	4+	4+	3	2	mercury
Snapper, silk	4+	4+	3	2	mercury
Snapper, vermilion	4+	4+	3	2	mercury
Snapper, yellowtail	4+	4+	3	2	mercury
Sole, English	4+	4+	3	2	PCBs
Monkfish	4+	4+	4+	3	mercury
Pollock, Alaskan/Pacific	4+	4+	4+	3	PCBs
Pompano, Florida	4+	4+	4+	3	mercury
Skate	4+	4+	4+	3	mercury
Tuna, albacore (U.S., Canada)	4+	4+	4+	3	mercury
Tuna, canned light	4+	4+	4+	3	mercury
It's safe to eat 4 or more meals per month of the following: Anchovies, Clams, Crab, king (U.S.), Crab, snow/tanner, Crawfish (U.S.), Haddock (trawl), Herring, Atlantic , Lobster, American/Maine, Mackerel, Atlantic, Mussel, blue , Oysters (farmed), Salmon, wild (Alaska), Sardines, Scallops, bay (farmed), Shrimp, pink (Oregon), Squid, Tilapia (Latin America), Tilapia (U.S.), Trout, rainbow (farmed)

http://www.edf.org/page.cfm?tagID=17694

in preparation for friday

this friday, november 28th, marks one year from my very last chemo - one year since i've been able to say i'm cancer-free.

it feels like a really big day to me. and i've been trying to think about all the things i want to do before that day and all the things i want to re-focus on after that day. new goals.

i've made the goal for myself of doing that one damn pull-up by friday.
as of this morning...i'm still not there. saturday i was 99% there. but it's so hard to get up that last piece.

the re-focusing i'm thinking of...like a renewal of new years resolutions that i've forgotten about. taking my vitamins every day. going to yoga twice a week. eating more vegetables. i'm trying to think of more.