it's christmas eve and i feel sentimental about our old christmas eve traditions.
we used to all trek 2 blocks to the smiths' house for dinner. for the best years, the kids were banished to the kids' table in the kitchen where everything was much more fun. we had fish chowder then graduated to lasagna. we all opened presents. we sang christmas carols while stanley played the piano. everyone involved remembers it all so fondly that it's kind of heartbreaking that we don't do it anymore. there was an exodus from salem to the west.
those were the days.
and here i am thinking a lot about this past year. god. what is there to say?
the surgery and the chemo are behind me. there are so many changes ahead. so much to think about. so much to reconsider.
what i want to say and what i want to make as clear as i possibly can is that there is no way in hell i could've gotten through this 6-month stretch without all of you. your visits. your advice. your thoughts. your prayers. asking others to pray for me. the most thoughtful packages ever. the flowers. your calls. your messages. your letters. your paintings. the advent calendar. the hair cutting. the gelato. the outpouring, as i've said before, has been completely overwhelming.
and just to know that so many of you read what i write. check all the time. think of me all the time.
i am so used to being a social worker, listening to and helping others for so much of my days. all of this help and caring and thoughtfulness and genuine genuine love just sends me over the edge into puddles of tears. in an amazing way. and as much as i've been able to communicate through this blog...i really don't think i can verbalize how important you all have been for me. for my healing. for my sanity. for everything.
so. thank you.
and merry christmas.
and i cannot wait for 2008.
it's going to be so. much. better. than 2007.
xxoo
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
-Mewlana Jalaluddin Rumi 1207-1273, written in 1230
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4 comments:
Meg. You are the kind of friend that EVERYONE should have. I am so glad that our paths crossed so many years ago, my life is so much richer for it. I am so glad that this year is ending and a new one is starting...and that you have the grace and power to see what amazing things are ahead! Know that you ALWAYS have family here in San Diego, and that I love you with all of my heart. Here's to you, your beautiful cancer free being, and your long and wonderful future. Merry Christmas Bun.
Oh, what a wonderful Christmas present - your words are full of hope - thank you so much for letting us know how you're doing. I'll still be holding you in my heart here in Provincetown as the new year begins and you continue on your journey of healing and good health!
Dear Meghan,
The old year is winding down, and I'm sending you a hug and wishes for the best possible new year imaginable.
Linda
It's New Year's Eve and I'm thinking of the past six months, picturing them gone, and replacing that thought with the next 6 - health and happiness to you.
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