my last appointment with dr. kogel went really well. nothing very serious. just checking me out. took a blood test. reminded me to get a mammogram in june of this year. said she was sad i was leaving to san francisco.
the rest of the time in denver seems like a whirlwind. i spent time with my amazing denver friends - the ones who helped ring in the new me with the hair cutting party. i got to see barb, by far my most favorite neighbor i've had. i got to see susie - who helped me pick out the first wig. i got to spend some precious minutes in big lots, my favorite store in denver. i got to have dinner at my favorite indian restaurant in denver. it was all a really nice way to spend my last few days in colorado.
and this afternoon, after all of the visiting and doctoring was done, i started driving west. and tomorrow and thursday my mom and i will continue to drive west for 1200 miles. my dad, obviously of the weaker sex, is laid up in bed sick as a dog...we figured he wouldn't be able to drive and he wouldn't really be good company. so we're leaving him here. :)
and that's that. goodbye to colorado rocky mountain high. kitty doesn't even know her life is about to undergo some radical changes.
so tuesday afternoon i have my 3-month post-chemo appt with my oncologist.
i really have no idea what she will do, what she will ask. apparently there's no blood work. they say the best way to detect any recurrence is just knowing your body. ug, that seems so stressful.
anyway, i'm kind of excited to go. kallie, the nurse who led "hit the road jack," ordered me to come by and see her...she mostly wants to see how much my hair has grown in. and i haven't seen dr. kogel since early november, i think. so...it'll be good.
THEN i will start the drive west. seems pretty crazy that tomorrow afternoon i will say goodbye to denver and it will be all points west.
my appt is at 1:45 and then i'll start driving the rental truck to vail. tomorrow night should be really fun packing up the truck with everything. wednesday and thursday will probably be even more fun...driving all day long in a bouncy 10-ft truck with no cd or tape player. thank GOD my friend jess had the forethought and sweetness to send me an itrip - a little radio converter thing for my ipod so i can basically listen to my ipod on the radio. friends really can be so good. :)
it's has been 7+ months of turmoil. and the end is on the horizon.
my parents have graciously offered to help me drive all my stuff out to san francisco. we will have a truck, my car, my dog, and 5 different books on tape to get us the 18 hours it takes to get from vail to san francisco. (so weird. my mom and i did the reverse drive in july 2001 in a little blue honda civic. )
i will move into my new apartment on thursday night. and then have a second interview with my dream job on friday morning. my dream job? working with teenage girls who've been arrested for or want to get out of prostitution. please keep your fingers crossed for me.
despite my last cancer patient yoga experience, i decided to try again. this time up in vail with a yoga instructor that my mom loves. the instructor invited both of us to the shaw cancer center in edwards, co for a tuesday morning class.
there was a similar sense of camaraderie in this class. but none of the complaining, the sighing, the chit chat. it was really nice.
but. i have to say it was a little depressing. many of the women had been through SO much and were doing fine. they were survivors with cute new hair cuts. but there was one woman who starts chemo this thursday. she was asking all about hair loss and wigs. it was nice to be able to give her some advice from experience...but...it was hard to think about her having her first chemo in a few days. i just was instantly shot back to september 18th, 2007. i remembered everything - experiencing the first red chemo injection with tears rolling down my face. and the following nausea. ug. it was just so hard to think about. and so hard to think about another woman having to go through that fresh.
instead of flowers grown with pesticides, i would like to give you guys some more tips on prevention. maybe this valentines day make a goal to change one habit?
1. create a healthy home -buy unbleached toilet paper and tissue -be careful with plastics (do not microwave in plastics, change your plastic water bottles to stainless steel or aluminum. check out this website for beautiful water bottle options... http://www.mysigg.com/ ) - use natural cleaning products like...mrs. meyers...they smell soooooo good... they actually MAKE me want to clean... http://www.mrsmeyers.com/
2. change your eating habits -eat organic as much as you can -choose hormone-free meats and dairy -make sure you have enough fiber in your diet - fiber helps reduce excessive estrogen in your body
3. choose safe cosmetics - avoid parabens - avoid nail polish with formaldehyde, toluene, and dibutyl phthalate - sometimes found in perfumes and hair sprays - avoid hair dyes and relaxers that have lead acetate and coal tar - sometimes found in dandruff shampoos, too - avoid eye drops with mercury - avoid mascaras with ethylacrylate and petroleum distillates - also found in perfume, foundation, lipsticks, lip balms.
4. get out an exercise -remember walking 3 hours a week can make a big difference
i was planning to only send these pictures to a few of my nearest and dearest family and friends. mostly because i still am not comfortable with the short hair. but. then i decided...whatever...this is all a learning experience...i've put myself totally out there already...might as well continue to...
so. here are two pictures. one sans wig - 11 weeks post chemo...4 weeks of hair growth... can you make out the mohawk?
and one with the new wig. unlike the long blond one, it's a full wig... but still, without a hat, makes me feel newscastery.
after 7 full months of uncertaintly and turmoil...i think my life might be working its way back on track.
tonight my new roommates and i will sign a one year lease to live in the sunset neighborhood of san francisco. it's a great apartment. one block from golden gate park. two miles to the pacific ocean. one block from the library. six blocks to a ton of restaurants, coffee shops, and stores at 9th and irving. the apartment has a backyard, two bathrooms, big windows, high ceilings. AND they allow dogs.
so, although many things are completely up in the air...at least i have an official place to call home again...starting march 1st.
it still seems to be around one cm. but there's a lot of it. and it's getting darker. and...it's growing back as a mohawk. no styling necessary. apparently under all that curl i used to have were mohawk tendencies. this process is going to be extremely interesting.
This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they're a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
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