i found out today that kaiser had weirdly scheduled me for my next chemo on two different days. one day to see the dr. - monday. one day to get the chemo - the following friday. which under normal circumstances wouldn't be so bad. but since i'm staying up in vail with my parents...driving almost two hours each way wouldn't be too much fun.
so...after talking to a nurse i finally got both appointments on the same day...wednesday...the day before thanksgiving...the original day i had been scheduled months ago. i had changed it so i could enjoy thanksgiving dinner on thanksgiving. but now patrick has to be in wyoming the day before thanksgiving...so we will have an early thanksgiving dinner anyway.
and i realized a few other things...my last entry said that i was miserable. and i hadn't given an update. now i'm feeling a lot better...it was about about 7-8 days of severe exhaustion, feeling not so great, having a bad taste in my mouth. and now that i'm about to have my very last chemo, i'm feeling more normal.
and the other thing i realized was that i hadn't written a 4 month reminder to do self breast exams! it's beyond that time of month! do those exams. remember...at first everything feels lumpy and bumpy...but, at least in my experience, once you learn how they feel you can tell when something is wrongly different. so...do them. do them. do them. please.
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
-Mewlana Jalaluddin Rumi 1207-1273, written in 1230
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