:(
my white cell count was too low...(.9 instead of the minimum acceptable 1.5)...i'm so so bummed.
i was so ready for this one to be the last. i was so ready to start growing my hair back. i was so ready to be closer to getting back to my normal life. and now? i'm set back by a whole week. it's only a week. but it seems to make such a difference right now.
and what's so frustrating is that there is nothing i can do to improve my white blood cell count. doesn't matter how much i sleep, what i eat, if i exercise, how stressed i am, nothing. it's just my body building them up. way to make me remember that, right now, my body doesn't feel like my own.
so now chemo is set for next wednesday. november 28th. seems like forever from now.
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
-Mewlana Jalaluddin Rumi 1207-1273, written in 1230
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2 comments:
happy thanksgiving!
thinking of you out here in mass!!
Dear Meghan,
One week, seven days, to think positive thoughts, picture that white count going up, up, up. I understand how frustrating this is for you and empathize wholeheartedly, but also know, in retrospect, how fast a week goes by when you know the end is so near. Hang in there, beautiful woman!
Love,
Linda
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