...anxious about my new car.
...anxious about what comes next once i've accomplished all the goals i've set for myself.
san francisco? check.
job that i love? check.
pull-up? check.
TWO boobs? check.
new car? in about 18 hours, i will be able to say, check.
NOW what the hell do i do?
well, instead of sleeping, i wrote a letter of intent for the SAMFund grant. they were the ones that granted me money for a year of yoga, physical therapy, and car insurance. grantees can re-apply for 3 years. and all grantees have to be between 17 and 35. (i'm almost too old.) so i decided to take a sleepless night and turn it into a strong letter of intent.
i'll have the answer (if i can continue with the application process) by august 7th.
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
-Mewlana Jalaluddin Rumi 1207-1273, written in 1230
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Morning Poem by Mary Oliver
Every morning
the world
is created.
Under the orange
sticks of the sun
the heaped
ashes of the night
turn into leaves again
and fasten themselves to the high branches ---
and the ponds appear
like black cloth
on which are painted islands
of summer lilies.
If it is your nature
to be happy
you will swim away along the soft trails
for hours, your imagination
alighting everywhere.
And if your spirit
carries within it
the thorn
that is heavier than lead ---
if it's all you can do
to keep on trudging ---
there is still
somewhere deep within you
a beast shouting that the earth
is exactly what it wanted ---
each pond with its blazing lilies
is a prayer heard and answered
lavishly,
every morning,
whether or not
you have ever dared to be happy,
whether or not
you have ever dared to pray.
forgot to add:
you are one of my heroes!
just thinking about you and hoping all is well...
Hi Meghan,
I stopped by the gallery in town where Bruce is now working. It was wonderful seeing him again and catching up on family news.
Hope you know how much I think of you and wish you well each day...crossing fingers for the 'yes' answer on august 7 to your application!
Linda
Hi Meghan,
Thinking of you and wishing you the best of everything...hope to see you on the blog again, soon!
xo
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