I feel like a crazy person.
I have a list of things that I feel I need to do, to get, to deal with before Tuesday's surgery. As I run through the checklist, it feels as if there's a 100% chance of the-worst-blizzard-to-ever-hit-the-state happening on the third Tuesday in July. Or maybe it's like Hurricane Gloria's about to hit and I desperately need to buy plywood to cover the windows.
1) grocery shopping - onions, orange juice, fruit, garbanzo beans, seltzer
2) library - check out the maximum amount of dvds and magazines to add to the Netflix movies already en route
3) walgreens - straws, drano, maybe some swedish fish and some peppermint patties for the freezer
I feel like I should be buying batteries, flashlights, water, canned goods, too. And tomorrow's my last chance to do everything.
*sigh*
One of my neighbors offered me valium. Another offered me xanax. Sitting here now...I can't imagine why I didn't storm their houses the second they offered...
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
-Mewlana Jalaluddin Rumi 1207-1273, written in 1230
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7 comments:
Oooohhhhh, Xanax and Drano.
I hear it's a real rush if you grind up the Xanax, mix it with the Drano, and snort it with a straw.
K
Meghan, this is your mother's cousin, Linda, again, sending you enormous hugs for tomorrow. I'd like to share a few words I took with me on my journey with cancer:
WHAT CANCER CANNOT DO
cancer is limited
it cannot cripple love
it cannot shatter hope
it cannot corrode faith
it cannot destroy peace
it cannot kill friendship
it cannot suppress memories
it cannot silence courage
it cannot invade the soul
it cannot conquer the spirit
You have such a beautiful spirit. I'll hold you in my heart all day tomorrow.
Dearest Manic Meg,
I bet most of us can identify with your frenzy to get things done as in before the storm, before the baby, before the long vacation, before the end of the term. Thankfully, this is not preparation for a space mission (in which case forgetting something could be REAL serious). If you don't get something now it can still be done by other people later. I think the frenzy is all about our need to feel effective and in control when we are faced with unknowns.
Do you have any coosh (sp?) pillows or other comfy things to recline on? Or those pillows filled with buckwheat and lavender that you put in the fridge or microwave? How about seeing if anyone has a footbath you can borrow. I hear they're very relaxing. Peppermint patties are definitely good. How about Sunchips? Bananas for smoothies? Maybe bake a batch of muffins today?
Heard a piece on NPR this morning by Leroy Seaver that you might appreciate about "I'm not going" (as in "Apocalypse [sp?] Now") as it applies to cancer treatment. In case you didn't catch it and are interested, go to npr.org/mycancer.
We are sooo hopeful that tomorrow's surgery will bring you, and all of us who are nestling our hearts and thoughts around you, great relief and joy in the form of definitive news about the tiny size, early stage and simple process of TOTALLY overcoming what we hope will later be thought of as a bump on this path of life.
We love you, sweetie,
sandy :-)
Dear Meg,
Make sure you pick up lots of positive thoughts and energy while your shopping for garbanzo beans. I'll be sure to send as many (positive thoughts) as I can from Massachusetts today. I will overnight them to be sure they will be with you tomorrow for the surgery. I will also throw in a bushel of hugs to keep you going when you wake up. I'll be thinking of you all day lovey!
XOXOXOXOXO
Maybe, like a bridal registry, you can send us your surgery registry. We're off to a good start (peppermint patties and swedish fish) just let us know what you need and it will be at your doorstep. (you'd better send some other ideas or else you're going to end up with a LOT of patties and fish). I'm very impressed that garbanzo beans and oj are on your list as well. If it were me there would be one thing on the list. I'll give you a hint: it starts with Char- and ends with -donnay. :-) In any case, you can bet I'll have a big glass ready to toast to your health tomorrow and I'll throw in a splash of orange juice for good measure!
Much much much love.
Julie
My checklist for you:
Homemade Blueberry Muffins.....check!
Mac and Cheese......check! (homemade, not Annie's)
Mexican Black Bean Dip (w/melted cheese in a Tortilla).....check!(homemade)
Homemade Gazpacho....from Ann....check!
Veggie Quiche from Ann (courtesy of Costco made with egg whites)...check!
Goodies from Jan.........check!
Swedish Fish.......check!
Dad's t-shirt for lounging (soft and roomy)....check!
Comfy soft light flannel p.j's....check!
Extra vases......check!
Kitty's crate fastenings.....check!
Bags for Kitty in a storage container.....check!
Floor lamps from Ken and Kathy.....check!
Free dog walking and care.....check!
Truckloads of positive vibes from near and far......check! (free transportation)
Parents at your beck and call....check!
Ooooddles of love and hugs.......check!
Mom XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
The sun will come out tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow they'll be sun.
Just call me Anne Bruce.
Now everybody sing.............
Tomorrow, tomorrow I'll love you tomorrow, it's only a day a way.
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