There's nothing to make someone feel like an extremely small-chested woman than for a plastic surgeon to tell her he's never worked on someone so small before. The head of the department.
So...I walk in. He tells me all the different options - including ones that made me gag. Like cutting a stomach muscle and rearranging that plus the fat from the stomach up to the new boob. And some of the risks are that your stomach bulges out because it no longer has that muscle to keep it all together. Nice - your get a boob job and then you need a tummy tuck. Luckily though, the doctor said I didn't have enough fat on my stomach to do such a procedure. A compliment with benefits.
Anyway, after discussing all the possibilities...he tells me has to measure me. He measures, he sits down, looks at me, looks at his books, looks at me. And then he tells me..."you know, the smallest I can make your right breast will be bigger than your left breast already is. So unless you don't mind being lopsided, I'll have to augment your left to match." Thanks, doc. He said the surgery he would recommend for me would be using an expander - putting it in me and then every few weeks putting more fluid in the expander to stretch my own skin over the course of a few months. He said, though, he would have to use the smallest possible expander in me...he's never had to use that one before...275ccs. Is he treating me like I'm a prepubescent child?
So it looks like I might get bigger boobs out of this after all. Eric was saying yesterday, if there'd been a category in the high school yearbook for least likely to get implants, I probably would've won. Least likely to live in Colorado, check. Least likely to date a professional football player, check. Least likely to get implants, check.
Well, at least I've exceeded expectations.
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
-Mewlana Jalaluddin Rumi 1207-1273, written in 1230
Posts
6 comments:
Dearest Meg,
I LOVE your wit! (Forgot to mention that in my mistakenly double-posted first comment last week.)
Damn. It seems to me that males must have been the developers of the nothing-less-than-275cc expander. Didn't it occur to someone that some of us are happily unobtrusive and would like to remain that way?! Where's the outcry for 250cc? And what does he mean by lop-sided? More pronounced than most of us actually are to a certain extent anyway? Is he talking about the air-brushed photo ideal?
Beverly watched an HBO special recently--and described in graphic detail, including hand gestures--that moving-your-own-stuff-up procedure. It sounded intriguing and yet bizarre at the same time. As someone who's had surgery moving something somewhere else to avoid having to introduce alien tissue (bone fragment from a cadaver) that might be rejected, I experienced both the freedom from concern about rejection AND the INTENSE pain lasting several weeks at the harvest site. Yikes!!! I'm glad you don't have to consider that option. Like being slender isn't enough of a positive in and of itself, but it also prevents you from having strange rearrangenments done to your body! You're SO lucky!!
And as far as the least likely categories--you're in Denver, not Idaho. And your professional football player is a brilliant, loving man who also happens to be zany and gorgeous. Man, some girls get all the breaks!
Get a HUGE hug from Eric from me.
Love you, Sweetie,
sandy :-)
Let's see now, who shall we blame for the boob size? The mother who was also in that line (some consider it the wrong one) or the father because you look so much like him?? I blame the father.(it's easier) I like what your dear friend Phil said "I'd rather have you bald, boobless and with 2 orphans from Bhurma than not at all." Hear, Hear!!! " Hell of a way to get a boob job"....also Phil. Gotta love it.
Something positive will come from all of this....I am convinced. I love you more than you will ever know..."As long as this road."....Mom XXOO
Whoops! Being the computer illiterate that I am, I posted under Meg's sign, since I am in Denver with her. ARGH. That last comment was from Judy, aka...Mom.
Least deserving of cancer. Check.
oh, my dear, i think we can hatch a deal!!
you can have all the tummy chub i got, my friend! win-win.
wow. maybe you should call your md, tell him you saw Dr. 90210, and tell him you've changed your mind. ask to go HUGE. like GG. see if he's ever done something like that. just a thought.
Post a Comment